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It's Pronounced Dow

Today, I went grocery shopping at Albertson's. I know that they use cards in order for you to save money. Actually, all those cards are good for is tracking your spending habits, and targeting advertisements to your home, and solicitation calls to your phone number. So, for the past few years, I've been using 867-5309 for the phone number when I reach the checkout (I forgot my card). However, as of the past couple months, that phone number no longer works, and I can't save money. So, when I reached the checkout, the lady asked me for my phone number or my savings card. I told her I didn't have one. So, she preceded to hand me a form to fill out while she scanned my groceries.

Now, at this point, I'm laughing inside. The first thing I think of is "Do they honestly expect people to not beat the system here? Seriously." So, with that in mind, I filled out the form:

First Name: John
Last Name: Dough
Address: 108 Church St.
City: Beverly Hills    State: CA    Zip: 90210
Email: <none>
Phone (911) 867-5309

I handed her the form, she looked it over, and asked "John Doe?!".
"It's pronouced 'dow'. I get that all the time. Also, I'm just visiting. Is that okay, being from California, or do I have to fill it out there?"
"Yes", she said. "That's fine." And she gave me my savings cards, handed me my receipt, and we were out the door.

John Doe would just be too obvious. I have to shake it up a little bit. Funny she didn't catch the area code, or the phone number. 108 Church St. is an apartment I used to occupy when living in Toronto, Canada. I'm sure every city has a Church St. so it's easily convincing.

And there it is. I got my savings without handing out a bit of my identity. If they cancel the card, no biggie. I figure every time I walk into that grocery store, I'll just fill out a new one with unique bogus info. I'm out to show Albertson's the silliness of making shoppers fill out those forms to get a "savings card". Maybe I should start with U.S. Presidents, work my way through each of them, then move through Biblical Prophets. I could have some real fun here. And, if they ever catch me on falsifying the information, I'll just show them my collection of savings cards, and ask them to pick which one would work.

Beating the system, and it's all too easy.

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